Welcome to The Fingers Grocery Games, which is like the Junior Goodwill Games except I’m not Gordon Bombay, you’re not the entire roster of the Mighty Ducks from D2: The Mighty Ducks Are Back!, and this is about supermarkets, not hockey. Those are the major differences; there are others. Anyway!
Kroger and Albertson’s, the second- and fourth-biggest grocery chains in the country, announced this morning they want to merge. That’s roughly 55% of what a Delaware court may force rehydrated ham/Nathan Fielder admirer Elon Musk to pay for Twitter, which is both irrelevant1 and deeply funny.
More relevant for our purposes, Fingers Fam: The American drinking public buys the vast majority of the beer it guzzles at grocery stores and supermarkets. In my experience, when you trot this factoid out at parties, people who are only half-listening to begin with will say something like “Wow, I would not have guessed that,” and then scan the …